Hi, Friends! I’m back, with another nudge to bump our spirits up. This is a strategy I use all the time (if I remember to!) to help me feel a little better about All The Things. And it’s not hard—or, at least, it doesn’t have to be.
Whatever you’re doing, do your very, very best.
Of course it applies to the Big Things we want to be good at (art, jobs, relationships) but doing our best is a portable, transformational practice we can (should) apply to the little things, too, and can use as a quick strategy to feel better in the moment, the day, the week, the life. And note that we’re not talking about being THE best here, we’re talking about doing YOUR best.
What does it mean to do your very best at watering your houseplant? Opening your book? Washing your face? Breathing? It means giving whatever we can our highest quality of attention, engaging in a way that feels as right and good as possible. Little things are what make up our days, so if we miss them (or do a crummy job at them) we’re missing and crummying-up our lives—not to mention setting ourselves up to miss more of our Big Things. Practice polishing each experience with care and attention and, little by little, they all start shining.✨
MAGIC TRICK (an example)
One of the things I struggle to be *good* at is TIME. It mostly doesn’t make sense to me and I’m generally pretty bad at it. But lately, I’ve been trying to look around regularly and remind myself what month and season it is. Because I forget? Yes. Just kidding! Well, kind of kidding—and kind of not. I’ve just noticed that the more I stay tuned to now-time (it’s July, it’s summer! It’s summer RIGHT NOW), the better I am at experiencing it and the less likely I am to hear myself saying (and, more importantly, feel myself feeling) things like, “OMG it’s fall?! How did this happen? Where did the summer go?!”
I’ll know exactly where it went – because I was there! It was hot, flowery, summery, lovely. There were lake-paws and popsicles, dragonfly days of long, long light. Clock-time still confounds me and I’m still late for everything, but at least I have a better ongoing sense of the living time the Earth keeps, the deeper timing of my days and months in the wheel of the year. Summer: thunder porches and melon. Dresses and daisies! I was there all along—remembering. 🌼
So now we’re rounding the corner of September into my favorite month of all, and I’ve been practicing! October in New England is the magician’s month when the earth performs her most stunning trick of the year and pushes us all out together onto a one-way bridge with the deep hulking quiet of that fickle mystic, winter, waiting on the other side to challenge and comfort and humble us. But for a time, on the way, we get to linger in between, holding onto the rope-rail, wide-eyed, watching the show. I grew up in the northeast and am no stranger to autumn, but I can honestly say it blows my mind every single time.
So this is one way I’ve discovered I can be a good one (or at least a better one). Since everything that happens is happening in the (albeit confounding) flow of time, whatever we’re doing, anything that helps us be more present is going to help us be better.
AND A NOTE ON CREATIVE WORK
For many of us, doing our best in our creative practice often simply means prioritizing it more and holding enough space for it so we can play and explore and immerse with as much openness and freedom as possible. Creativity needs plenty of room to float and zoom, to spill, spark, and explode. And plenty of goodwill.
When we’re unsure what it means to do our best at creative work, the first thing is probably to stop crowding it out and picking fights with it; space and friendliness are usually a good place to start.
THE BEST
Read your book the best. Unload the dishwasher the best. Play with your dog the best. Notice that fluorescent crimson leaf the best. Lean into it. It’s an easy zing (wow, I love that line! Here’s my favorite bowl with the blue flower, so pretty. Pearly’s running toward me with such reckless devotion that my heart might burst!) with the added benefit that you’re developing awareness and moving in sync with time instead of racing ahead of it, plus the comfort of knowing whatever you’re being (a lunch-maker, a walk-around-the-blocker, a goose-listener, a sock-pairer), you’re being a good one.
And if you’re not? Keep practicing and by default you’ll get better at one of the best possible things to be good at: beginning again.
TRY THIS:
Consider something meaningful to you that you’ve been having a hard time prioritizing (writing? pet-parenting? girlfriending? gardening?).
Make a list of 5-10 reasons it’s important to you and 5-10 actionable ways to “do your best” at it this week. Set a booby-trap for yourself by putting the list someplace unavoidable, and revisit it periodically. Follow your own good instructions for being a good one.
Questions? Comments? Camaraderie? If you feel like sharing something, I’d love so much to learn your bigs, littles, and tricks. And cheer you on. ✨
Love & light from the margin,
ali
Star in the Margin is free and open to all, but does require lots of time, love, and energy! If you’re into the vibe and want to cheer me on. . .
I love this one because “doing my best” is an idea I’ve been pondering from a different place: When I was applying for jobs and getting diddly squat in return, I kept coming back to “but did I do by best? everything I could possibly do to give myself the best chance?” I really got into the weeds with this question (and wrote about it for my lil web blog), and what I found was doing my best starts with intention and ends with confidence. Looking at smaller, simpler examples (like watering plants, for example) makes answering this question much more palatable. I wish I thought of this sooner; leave it to Ali to bring a bright perspective on literally anything 👏☀️
Goose-listener! I love you and this practice and all that you're sharing here, Ali! Sometimes I hang the shirts out to dry in rainbow order for this reason... it admittedly does take a tiny bit more time, but it brings disproportionate joy to the practice. I also think of the laundry as prayer flags thankful for our family's health and enjoyment of our bodies' daily movements in these clothes that have mostly been worn by other people before us, but some purchased new... there is so much to celebrate and be grateful for in this simple chore. These are the moments of our seasons, years and lives. I don't always do my best to be in them fully, but am aware that when I choose to do my best, everything is that much more joyful and brimming with details that find their way into my creative practice as well. My everyday human practice is my creative practice. Love and thanks.